Mac ’ s 消息 #51: 处理不守规矩的男孩 (部分 3)

Mac 麦金太尔

Mac 麦金太尔

 

在我最后的留言,关于不守规矩的男孩在侦查程序中处理我想提供一些实用的建议和技术你可以使用来帮助改善行为的破坏性的年轻男子.

我相信维持和谐的侦察单位的最佳基础是要有一个一致的结构,您的会议和活动. 男孩往往表现更好,当他们知道您的会议总是将开始和结束的时间,并将按照既定的会议常规 — — 如升旗仪式, 祷告, 背诵的童军誓言和法律, 公告, 单位业务, 用反射后来的学习经验, 和关闭活动的乐趣.

我也鼓励你要清楚, 一致, 和你年轻男性的简单行为期望. 具体期望获得特定的结果. 男孩想要知道什么对他们的期望; 和他们想要知道这些期望是坚定的和不可改变. 当规则不明确, 或更糟, 优柔寡断, 男孩弄糊涂. 经常的混乱导致功能失调性的行为. 一致性是与年轻男子保持控制的关键. 通常,如果一个男孩知道的规则, 并确保他们不能打破或改变, 他会遵守他们心甘情愿地没有挑战.

我发现很好地设定的期望是要创建您的会议和活动的商定行为基本规则的孩子. 这些地面规则可以张贴在您的会议室,所以年轻人不断提醒如何行动.

毫无疑问,对侦察年龄的男孩的最好的行为期望可以发现在侦察法. 如果你有一个男孩通过每周背诵心头根深蒂固童子军法, 它应该很容易劝他关于他的破坏行为提醒他这些球探标准. 举个例子, 如果一个男孩在野营深夜太吵, 你可以提醒他要 有礼貌. 如果一个年轻人认为与其他男孩或坏话的人, 说闲话或欺负别人, 您可以提示他要 忠诚. 如果一个男孩未能遵循你侦察单位规则, 你可以提醒他要 值得信赖 听话. 我不能认为一个男孩可能犯下任何可能违法,这些行为不能回绑一个或多个童子军法中的值.

当本人一直担任的团长我确保我唯一处理纪律问题较为严重的人. 我不将此责任交给任何我助理成人领导或青年领袖. 这可确保处理方式男孩有严重行为问题的一致性. 它还可以防止其他领导人不得不"坏警察"。我发现最严重问题可通过平静, 安静的, 私人, 那少年人一对一讨论. 如果那个男孩知道他是爱和感激, 他通常很好地响应纠正律师. 我发现拍拍后背是比一次严厉指责更有效.

然而, 有时当你需要采取更严厉的措施来修改一个男孩的行为可能. 教练第一次的时候我有几个男孩子多动症和药物. 一些男孩们是很难控制. 严重的违规为我实施卡使用的系统,是在足球比赛中. 对首次严重违反我会比喻"吹口哨",并告诫那男孩. 这是男孩的"礼貌警告"。如果相同的严重掉目的行为继续下去, 我将"黄卡"他. 这个男孩能得到两张黄牌之前我"红牌"他如果破坏行为继续下去. 一张红牌意味着男孩被停职的单位 30 天. 在那些可能不出席任何会议或活动 30 天. 在结束了 30 天这个男孩和他的父母(s) 将必须出庭的部队委员会和 Scoutmasters 申请复职. 他将不得不表明他已汲取的教训,不愿意再梗死. 自从我们有了一个质量侦察程序, 被禁止的单位 30 天是个重大的点球为男孩.

这一过程一直工作. 几个男孩收到黄牌, 但我只有红牌一个男孩我是团长的整个时间. 正如我在以前的博客里, 我在部队的十二个非 LDS 男孩. 令人惊讶, LDS 男孩被红牌的只有一个我. 他的父亲是我的助理 Scoutmasters 之一. 母亲是部队委员会主席. 去了父亲和母亲,得到他们的支持之前我红牌他们的儿子. 他们完美地处理这种情况,保持他们的儿子回家从童军 30 天. 在结束了 30 天这个男孩和他的父母请求复职. 这是一个奇妙的经历. 那男孩的行为大大改善. 他赢得了他的鹰. 他后来在一个特派团去秘鲁. 他在殿里结了婚,现在有两个孩子. 他是一个伟大的丈夫, 父亲, 和麦基洗德的祭司领袖. 这正是 LDS 侦察程序是什么.

我鼓励你去了解你的男孩. 我敦促你祈求指导如何处理任何可能会导致你问题的男孩. 我知道上帝会指引你. 天知道,有时当你可能需要责备年轻人"及时与"清晰度。但我希望它会因为你被"感动后圣灵"而不是只反应在愤怒或沮丧. 我知道最重要的事,你可以做时纠正一名年轻男子是显示"增加爱向你耶和华责备的人, 免得他尊重你是他的敌人" (D&C 121:43).

我们在天上的父亲爱他珍贵的年轻男人. 正因为如此, 他已经打电话给你是一个领导者,在他的孩子们. 在这样做,他鼓励你要"灵巧像蛇, 而像鸽子无害" (Matthew 10:16).

 

花一点时间来反映

  • 您已经实施一致的结构,为你的童军会议和活动吗?
  • 您有没有建立清晰地面规则或行为期望的输入与男人们的共识?
  • 当你劝告你男孩关于他们的行为,使用童军誓言和法律?
  • 与你的男孩,你使用什么行为矫正技术? 他们工作吗? 如果不是, 你能做什么来得到你想要的结果?

 

打开你的倒影变成行动

  • 你会开始做什么, 停止做, 或做得更好,因为你的倒影?

"我们的青春不想漂泊; 他们想要安全和固体的锚, 限制, 规则的生活 — — 与实现的机会. 他们想要知道什么对他们的期望 — — 他们认真想要的方向" (哥哥罗伯特 L. 贝克曼, “耶和华的父亲的要求s,” 海军少尉, 9 月. 1981).

 

-Mac 麦金太尔是专用的童军称颂许多人的生命,通过他的服务和急性对侦查程序的理解. 他目前住在拉斯维加斯, 内华达州. 此消息中表示的意见只是那些作者

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  1. 一如往常, this is a great and helpful post. I believe we have a great program going right now but there is definitely a lot of talking, excitement, noise and a bit of chaos in our meetings. Since we let the scouts run things, the adult leaders have not intervened but let the SPL, ASPL and patrol leaders struggle with what we call the “chaos” issues. When there is a more serious issues such as a scout hitting another which has only happened once or twice on campouts, I get directly involved.

    The more common problems are in troop meetings regarding the noise level but there are no safety issues, swear words, hazing, 等。, just deacon age scouts having fun in their own way. My hesitancy in setting uprulesother than the Scout oath and Law where I would step in as Scoutmaster to enforce them is that we lose some of the patrol method and deprive the scouts with wrestling with these issues. As a seminary teacher, quorum advisor, 等. trying to teach youth lessons I have personally struggled with this issue over the years, myself. I have actually been very impressed with our senior scout leadership wrestling with these issues although they have not been able to eliminate all the noise.

    我的问题是: where do you draw the line and yellow card a scout or scouts? If the whole troop is noisy, would you suggest a yellow card for everyone that is being noisy so they understand that the standard is they need to be quiet and listen? I could see how that would probably affect some changes in behavior but also wonder how the scouts would interpret that. Use the standard absolute silence in the meetings? 再一次, I think this is a matter of degree and may be hard to define in a blog post comment. I do like your idea of getting their buy-in before doing any of this so that is really self-discipline.

    1. Mac 麦金太尔 说:

      I only used the card system for very serious infractions. To me noisy kids is just a part of kids being kids. In most cases of too much noise, simply raising the Scout sign is enough to quite boys down . . . momentarily. I found calmness is the only way to calm kids down. Yelling at noisy kids only leads to more yelling.

      Regarding when to card a boy, I only carded a boy for extremely disruptive, non-cooperative, or abusive behavior. And even in these cases I tried to calm the kid down long before I carded them. The one boy I red-carded went on a tirade of obstinate behavior and inappropriate language. He was totally out of control. The only way we could get him to calm down was to red card him and send him home.

  2. I would also like to hear your and otherssuggestions about how to incorporate spirituality into the troop, especially with a lot of nonmembers in the troop. I believe you have probably addressed this in other posts and I need to go back and read them.

    1. Mac 麦金太尔 说:

      My philosophy is to not alter your approach to spirituality in the troop merely because you have non-LDS boys in your unit. 一些的 12 non-member boys I had in my unit had no previous exposure to religion. But they quickly joined in and wanted to participate, particularly in offering blessings on the food or being the voice for morning and evening prayers on our campouts. What really surprised me is some of the non-member boys wanted to give the talk in the combined opening portion of Mutual. It is amazing how insightful these boys can be when they are exposed to the Spirit. Some of their comments during the “反思” after an activity can be very profound. My non-member boys even wanted to take their turn reading passages in the Book of Mormon and other scriptures as we discussed them around the campfire at night.

      Obviously you should not put any pressure on non-members to participate in prayers or other elements of your meetings, but if you just proceed as normal I think the non-LDS boys will join in when they feel comfortable.

    2. Michael 说:

      嗨,比尔, Several years back, when serving as a Scoutmaster, I had a non-LDS assistant scoutmaster volunteer to work with our troop. He was a tremendous asset for the boys and to our adult leadership. After getting acquainted and settled in, he jumped right in with scoutmaster minutes when it was his turn and thoughts/discussion leading around the campfires on our trips that brought a great spirituality into our events. There was never any need to try and tailor our thoughts/messages or prayers because of him being there. His religious beliefs in God and Christ were very much in tune with the spirit of scoutingallowing our young men the opportunity to discuss spiritual/religious topics in a non-threatening, non-proselyting setting with a fellow Christian from another faith group. From time to time we had non-LDS youth participate with us in individual meetings/camping trips or for a short time as members of the troop. It has been interesting lately to work with the adults in the district. I have been able to take many meaningful thoughts into the meetings I attendto bring a bit of both the scouting spirit and Lord’s spirit at the end of a meetingall with very little or no adaptation from the original “教会” message. I have learned that there is no need for us to apologize or overly tailor our messagesjust be normal. But it is very important as Mac says to honor and respect and allow any of our non-LDS scouts and scouters to participate as they are comfortable and according to their beliefs as well. At one point, before he moved away, I had started working with a young man to encourage him to earn his religious knot from the church he was attending. I believe it is important for LDS youth to see and understand other faith-groups/religions beliefs so that they can better respect all other religions .. and in so doing better understand their own beliefs. One additional thoughtnot only no pressure to participate (other than an honorable request to be reverent during prayers which they should be during any type of scouting prayer anyway), but also troop members should not start trying to “转换” the non-LDS participants….

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